I would like to express our sincerest apology for being less than first-rate hosts following the birth of our baby girl, Aurora. In regards to your texts, facebook messages, voice mails, and requests for visits, we have received them. Despite our (lack-of) reaction, we appreciate them, too. And I'm not just saying that, these interactions are our lifelines to the world.
Please allow me to explain why we may seem cold or distant.
Our baby is a breast milk-coveting tyrant.
(She's also cute.)
When she was born, she skipped the peaceful initial "sleepy phase" and jumped straight to cluster feeding**. She went from cluster feeding to drunken milk-oholic style feeding every 2 hours. On day 11, she was sane for about 24 hours (just enough time to give us a false sense of hope that we may return to the reality in which adults can leave their own bedrooms). On day 12, she entered, what my pediatrician has assured me is, her "two week growth spurt" inspired phase of Cluster Feeding!
When she's eating, my one hand is holding her head, the other is positioning myself or holding back the dog. She also tends to get fussy and scream if I attempt to multitask during feeding, because she is a regular eyes-on-me Beyonce-level diva.
When she is sleeping, I'm usually pumping, showering, trying to find food, or passed out underneath her. I can sometimes facebook or text during this time, as long as I'm holding my breath and being stealthy.
When she isn't sleeping or eating, she is pooping or getting a bath.
Any left over moments in between, the dog needs let back in or out, or I'm trying to take pictures to create a timeline for myself, so that I don't completely lose track of what year it is.
Speaking of time, it doesn't exist. She eats every 3 hours, and feeding her takes about an hour. That means, we sleep in two hour increments. I kind of notice if its bright on the otherside of the curtains or if its dark, but that's about it.
What that means for you:
The text I received from you four days ago? In my mind, I just got that! My response to you at 4:30AM on a Tuesday is timely and appropriate.
You want to visit? We want to see you! Terribly, and we are so happy that everyone is supportive and excited to meet our daughter... but I'm topless like 90% of the time and Larry is covered in baby poop... so visits tend to get weird.
Before you start to console us by reminding us this is just temporary and it gets easier, we have a confession:
We love it. Larry and I spend more time smiling and laughing (mostly out of exhaustion) then we ever did before she was born. This is not something I can explain with logic. Aurora is just very cool. Sadistic, but cool none the less.
In conclusion,
Don't give up on us or think we don't appreciate your outreach and excitement. We do. We are told after the first 3 weeks, a schedule emerges. If that's true, I'll be so excited to get out into the world with Aurora and have more of you over to meet her. If it's not, well, prepare to get a poop-covered hand shake from my husband and an awkward eye-full of my boobs.
(I apologize if this is grammatically confusing and hard to follow- It was written in under 30 seconds whilst hiding in my basement from my daughter's keen sense of smell for milk.)
**Cluster feeding- the act of chinese-water-torture style feeding, in which your child continuously, slowly, feeds on you in fifteen to 20 minute intervals while staring at you with a sinister expression.
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