Let's Talk about important things.

Don't get me wrong. I am a glutton for time wasting fluffy internet garbage. Yes, I am up to date on the happenings of Miley Cyrus.

But actually, that's one of the reasons, I started a blog.

I'm tired of of reading fluff. Everytime a page is opened there is an add in your face. For every uplifting thing you find, there's some hateful internet gang tearing it up. But that's kind of its reputation The internet is a marketing wet dream & a troll's paradise. People can be really hideous to each other and  they can try to sell you stuff. Trying to navigate around those themes takes some time and energy. The hours spend suffering the web add up. But, many websites have AMAZING information to untap, so I'm going to try to bring some of that here.

This blog is going to focus on the positives. (There will be the occassional bull shit.)
 But mostly, I am going to figure out my life... and share what I've encountered with... myself at first because at this point I don't have any followers. But eventually, hopefully, others.

Articles, links, photos will be shared... more when I figure out how to use this system better.

All of which will be Important :)

Importance determined by a barometer of me. & sometimes Riley. She's the dog.

Hello, Here's my blog.

I am a hopeless blogger. 

I am terrible with grammar.

I, often, use commas incorrectly.

I delight in employing recherche, multi syllabic syntax.

My word choice can be confusing.

I go on tangents.

Sometimes, I get lost while I am on them.

What were we talking about?

My spelling is poor.

In fact, I am dyslexic. 

I am a slow typer.

I am terrible with technology.

It takes me at least 5 minutes to find my blog on line.

I am not kidding.

Yet, I love to write.

And what is writing, without an audience.

So, hello. Here's my blog. 

Wander with Me

Everyone experiences life differently. Some people are born with a distinctive sense of purpose that is as clear to them as knowing their own names.

“I was dancing before I could walk”, brags the dancer.

“I  built Leggo bridges”, muses the engineer.

But, I think the majority of us float around satisfied with several fantasies regarding who we may become and what we hope to accomplish. I am a part of the latter. I assume my state of indecisiveness is how most of my peers feel [here’s hoping for lots of friends].

I can usually recognize my fellow soul seeker when our paths cross. We are not the most put together people in the room. We generally reek of discontentment. The person stands in front of me, but his or her mind is far from the confines of the room. Little things in the way the person is dressed may give him away. For me, it was a feather sewn into my hair. It was subtle, hidden behind my ear, but it was there.

“Who in the world am I? Ah, that's the great puzzle.” 
― Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

It takes courage to wander. People assume if you have not uncovered your direction in life, then you’re somehow off track. It makes people very uncomfortable when they cannot place a label on someone they encounter. We all do it. We label. It’s in our nature to prune out unique, foreign traits and identify the familiar characteristics we understand. That social strategy serves an important purpose for us. For example, a man is holding a bloody knife.

Brain thinks: man with bloody knife in alley is dangerous vs. man with bloody knife in kitchen is Gordon Ramsey . Labeling someone, murderer vs chef, allows us to stack the odds in our favor when predicting their behavior.

 So, what happens when a person has not chosen their label yet? We tend to label them anyway. The unemployed graduate who left his stable job because he realized he was spending his youth serving a corporate lord, rather than finding meaning in his life. The choice may have lost him status, money, security, and stability. He might have to demean himself, by depending on others to get him from one day to the next. He may not be able to afford to buy new clothes. He may appear lesser to people who knew him before. These friends may look at him and think, “He’s so lost right now.” But, the day he had enough courage to diverge to a different path, may have been the day he began finding his way. That was the day he became a Wanderer.

“All those who wander are not lost.”
-J.R.R. Tolkien

They are still exploring. Finding the purpose the lies dormant at our core.

Not everyone is designed to jump with both feet into the water. Some people test the water. Testing the water can express itself in many forms. Sometimes it appears in a socially accepted role, but other times, it expresses itself in a more isolating shape. But there is so much beauty in the search. Finding your way can be filled with priceless experience,  and self enrichment. But a person can go infinitely further into that journey when their environment is conducive and their loved ones are supportive. Otherwise, condescension packs one hell of a sting.

There is no right or wrong way to live. This is one absolute truth I have grown to accept. This is true because life is infinitely personal. I choose to peruse the most minute intricacies of the world around me. Focusing primarily on the people that i am blessed to meet during this journey. There is an infinite range of emotions in each person. My definition of purpose is every individual seeking control in obtaining the happy shades of that spectrum. I wander to find my happy shades.

 “Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?"
"That depends a good deal on where you want to get to."
"I don't much care where –"
"Then it doesn't matter which way you go.” 
― Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

Seeking Attention Seekers

Attention seeking isn’t just for the narcissists. As a middle class, indulged, female I’ve been taught two conditioned truths;

 (1). Without an audience, my worth can not be confirmed. [Correct Answer. Gold Star!]

(2). Seeking attention is a negative. [That bitch is thirssstty]

If you disagree, let’s breakdown how society works. First you are born. If your family doesn’t like you, you die. Then you grow a little older. If your peers don’t like you, you get out casted.  If you’re out casted you won’t make important social connections for jobs, education, marriage, and community. If you don’t get an education or a job, you’ll have no money. If you have no means to support yourself, you’re more likely to…die. [At least that’s the theory that’s indoctrinated into our minds from the time we enter civilized society]. Hence our inner survivalist screaming there’s safety in numbers!!

As I write, my puppy sits next to me and stares. She makes small grunting sounds, and occasionally lifts her paw, attempting her most endearing head tilts. She does this for attention. As a baby crying upon entering this Earth confirms, the need for attention and approval is innate.

Here’s the great news.We’ve entered an era of SOCIAL MEDIA. Social Media:The ultimate tool in the attention seekers utility belt. Twitter, Facebook, Myspace, Blogger, Instagram, Pinterest, Foursquare, and Google Plus are at my disposal 24 hours a day from my cell phone. So in theory we should all be connected and happy.

Yet…  (2). Seeking attention is a negative. [That bitch is thirssstty]

Where’s the boundary? Sayings like, “Don’t beg for facebook likes. Work hard to earn what you deserve.” Have gone viral [whilst hypocritically collecting thousands of facebook-likes]. Why are the “attention whores” seen in such a negative light and not worshiped?

The answer is in the balance and integrity. Americans are traditional folks. We like the humble-billionare; the hardworking business owner who still sweeps his own store floors; the cowboy who kills but only the bad guys who deserve it. We expect people to be well rounded. We like to make people work for approval.

We also are lead by fear. People see the self absorbed as selfish. If we focus on bringing the attention inward, then we lose focus on becoming generativist. If we are not contributing to others, we don’t deserve their support.

The point: find balance. My social media lovers- if you want to utilize these forums by my side, please be ready to contribute. Discuss, debate, support, create laughter, show love, share knowledge. Do not let jealousy, prejudice, or insecurities jade the opportunity we have to use forums for GOOD. Collaboration can lead to beautiful things. Celebrate yourself! But remember to celebrate others.

I am a selfish person who does selfless things.

I am a selfish person who does selfless things.

Today, I took my 9 month old Shiba Inu, Riley, for a walk though our neighborhood. The weather was picturesque. It’s Pennsylvania crisp fall air visiting the hearty greenery of mid August flora. Two children, a boy and a girl, around the ages of six and eight were gleefully running around their house. As we approached, the expected “Can I pet your puppy?!” squeal met both my, and my disconcerted puppy’s ears. My puppy stopped dead in her tracks and disappeared quickly behind my legs. I smiled and agreed, against Riley’s (my pup) obvious objection. The children ran over to me, hands extended.  Then for an awkward 2 minutes I spun in circles, untangling our leash, attempting to pick up my puppy’s darting body for easier petting access. Finally, once she had completely flattened herself against the pavement, I was able to scoop her into my arms and allow a few gentle head pats. The satisfied children bounded back to their abandoned bicycle and toys, and I, dog still under my arm, turned for home.

I looked at Riley. She had already forgotten her last few moments of torture and was focused on a squirrel in the distance. We had been warned that Shiba Inus need socialization when they are young, or their breeding can predispose them to become skittish in the company of strangers and other animals. Riley is already queen of our dog park- joyfully immersing herself into the world of dog peers. She is also great with our family and friends; however with limited exposure to children in our current social scene, her apprehension towards these children had me concerned.

Then, I remembered, a woman at our dog park had told me she takes her Yorkshire Terrier to the Children’s Hospital to visit the healing patients. I jumped online and downloaded the application. Riley must be a year old before we are eligible to volunteer. But, I know my dog. She’s non aggressive, and warms up to pretty much anything [including our vacuum- her long standing nemesis] with enough exposure, so she would not be a threat to these kids when we become eligible. So, my mind was made up. We would volunteer for the program.

I already visit the Humane Society at least once a month to donate food and litter- and pet animals.

I try to participate whenever I’m asked to walk or run in several of my friend’s charity events- because it’s enjoyable, good exercise, and usually a social outing.

I pick up litter outside- because I enjoy looking at pretty, natural settings.

I spend a couple extra bucks when food is labeled as locally grown- because it makes me feel better about not contributing to big food co. (I heard there pretty gnarly, in too many ways to disclose in this sentence).

But my point is, depending on how I pitch these activities, I could be a selfless do gooder or a selfish person who does good things.

I’ve decided being selfish as you act selflessly is a lesser evil than having the best intentions yet not taking action. Because, this is the stepping stone to a more enlightened you. Ok, maybe you don’t “get it” [that Euphoric higher understanding of giving back to the world], but most of us have developed a basic moral compass. Naturally, if you practice any activity repetitively you begin to develop a deeper understanding of that activity. Therefore, the practice of doing good begins the journey towards the state of being “good”.  

I’m not a religious gal, but I’ve always appreciated the saying, the road to hell is paved with good intentions. If that is true, then the road to heaven [in my case defined as enlightenment, bliss, happiness, and fulfillment] must be paved with action.