A woman's right: telling your employer you're expecting

When I found out that I was expecting my baby, it was a big surprise. We were already planning our wedding. The snuggly fitted to the hip,  size 6, dress was purchased and everything. And I was only a few weeks into a brand new job. This was not just any job either. It was the first time I was able to land the exact position for which I had gone to college.

Talk about mixed emotions. I wanted to be a mom... someday. I just didn't know someday would turn out to be this upcoming June.

I walked into work with a new anchor around my neck. I wondered how to excitedly commit to my new training (which would take several months) knowing my time with the company was on a ticking countdown. The big decision always weighing in my mind: when do I tell them.

First,  I asked for advice. I asked my doctor, my family, my husband,  my friends... and everyone had different answers.
"Don't tell them until you're out of the first trimester, what if you miscarry?"

"Don't tell them at all, it's none of their business. If they treat you differently sue!"

"Tell them right away! If you don't your misleading them and that's not ethical. "

My mind was spinning.

My doctor had advised waiting until the end of the first trimester, so I decided to start there. That gave me over a month at the job, maybe it would be easier then.

Well, next week is the second trimester and the decision isn't easier. I'm also not showing yet, making the temptation to keep the secret even stronger. But, I'm not a secret kind of girl. I wear it all in my sleeve. And I'm ready to spill the beans.

I weighed the consequences. I'm not FMLA protected because of the small size of the company & my limited time there. Potentially I could be fired in the spot for not being able to perform the duties of the job. But, I got through first trimester's exhaustion & daily nausea without asking for any accommodations- would that count for something?  I couldn't know for sure.

Then the real root of why I was so unsettled about this decision started to become clear to me. Why did I feel like a criminal? Why did I feel like I had let these people down?  I'm a grown woman, with a wonderfully loving and supportive husband,  experiencing being pregnant with our first child. This moment in time should be celebrated, not admonished. So why in a corporate setting is there so much pressure to deny your personal needs? The answer is within the structure of our working system. Employers want competitive employees. They want people that put the job first. But when you prioritize the job what goes on the back burner?  Your family? Your health?

I'm a counselor. Everyday I tell people to advocate for themselves. I urge people to identify their needs and prioritize their well being. And I'm not going to be a hypocrite anymore.

Today, I'm going to tell my boss that I'm expecting. I'll advise that I am willing to work up to the month of my due date, and I would like to return to the position if possible after I've adjusted to our baby's arrival. Most importantly, I'm delivering this news with pride. I'm a woman, I've received an education, I work very hard, and I'm starting a family- I shouldn't be ashamed of that.

Good-to-know Auto Insurance Insights

About two years ago, I started working at a major insurance company. I was working for the auto claims as a liability adjuster. Prior to getting this job, I had no experience with insurance and honestly, I had no idea how even my own auto insurance really worked. After hearing the same questions come up over and over from our customers, I complied a list of good-to-know facts about most people's auto coverage...

1. "Full Coverage" does not equal "Free Coverage" even if you are not liable for an accident. Coverage on your auto insurance carries some kind of deductible. The lowest possible deductible usually being $100.00; there is the exception of comprehensive coverage/ glass coverage sometimes having no deductible, but your collision coverage always has a deductible. If you've been in a car accident and have not paid anything out of pocket, it's because you went directly through the other person's insurance coverage or because your insurance company was able to "waive your deductible" because the other person's insurance company accepted liability for the accident and paid your company directly for the expenses of your vehicle.

What this means for you: Choose a deductible you can afford. If your car is parked and involved in a hit and run; you will be responsible for paying your deductible since you don't have the other person's information.

2. Rental Coverage is worth it. Usually adding rental coverage to your policy is only a few additional dollars a month, and although it may seem to be penny smart to skimp on this addition when creating your policy, its dollar dumb in the long run. Going back to the hit and run scenario; if you do not have rental coverage and your vehicle is totaled by someone who flees the scene; you may be weeks without a vehicle if you can not afford to rent a car out of pocket. If you have the coverage, your insurance company can place you immediately into a rental vehicle and its covered by the policy.

3. Be your own advocate. Unfortunately, claims handlers and call centers are overwhelmed with a very high volume of claims to handle; meaning, your claim may not get the attention you hoped that it would receive. If there seems to be a lag in contact from your adjuster reach out to them. Do yourself a favor and do not make their jobs more difficult- have your information ready, have the other parties information ready, and get your own copy of the police report if at all possible. Being entitled that you do not have to contribute to the process, or getting belligerent with your claims handler will not benefit you. If anything that behavior will slow down your claims process. Stay calm, get organized, and be cooperative- your insurance representative wants to help you and wants to help resolve your claim as quickly as possible.

4. Understand the difference between Collision and Comprehensive Coverage. If anything collides with your vehicle (i.e. another vehicle, a shopping cart, an object laying on the road) it is considered a collision loss. The only exception is an animal, an object that is flying through the air, or  direct weather-caused damage- all of which fall under comprehensive. Vandalism also falls under your comprehensive coverage.

5. Your Agent does not handle claims. Your agent is apart of the sales team for your insurance company. The agent can help you file a claim, they are savvy on the discounts available to you and the underwriting process; however, most agents are not trained in the claims process and liability statutes.

What the means for you: If your agent advises that an accident is not your fault, or that your accident would fall under comprehensive vs collision coverage- they may be wrong. You will not be able to confirm the liability determination or appropriate coverage until you actually speak to a claims handler.

6. Not all claims service is 24 hours. Most call centers to report the claim are 24 hour service. That call center can assist with towing your vehicle and filing the claim. However; specific questions regarding liability, rental cars, and reimbursement for out of pocket expenses (when not liable) must come from your claims handler. If you want prompt service; find out the office hours of your claims handler and contact them within those hours. Not all adjusters work weekends or evenings.

What to do if you're involved in a car accident: 
1. Exchange all information. This includes the driver's name, the owner of car's name, the license plate of the vehicle, and the contact information for anyone involved in the accident, the other person's insurance company and their policy number.

2. Take pictures. Take pictures of both cars, all damage, the other people involved (incase they try to claim they were not at the scene of the accident later), the location and any roadway markings or signs, and the position of the cars.

3. Note the details. What time did accident happen? What are closest streets to the location? How many impacts did you feel?

4. File a police report, if possible. Do not depend on the police to get the other person's information. If the other person is not cooperating at the very least take a photo of their license plate.

5. Get the name and contact information of any witnesses- no matter how simple the accident.


Liability Decisions that seem to surprise:

You rear ended the person in front of you, because they slammed on their breaks for no reason (you think they were on a cell phone.) 

Sorry, you are still liable. You have the duty to leave enough space in front of you when following another vehicle that you are able to stop in time. 

You made a left hand turn at an intersection, when the other car sped through the intersection and hit the rear of your vehicle. 

You may not be 100% liable, meaning they may have some negligence for speeding, but you are still majority at fault as the person who failed to yield and made a left hand turn in front of another vehicle. 

After you parallel parked your car, you opened your door to get out and a car driving by took off your door!

Sorry, You are liable. You have a duty to make sure the roadway is clear before opening your car door into a roadway.  

Your spouse hit your parked car. Now both cars are damaged, but at least its only one deductible right?

Wrong.  Even though you won't be liable for the accident, you will have to use your own car's collision coverage to get it repaired. You can't be liable for your spouses' property because it is shared and you can not be liable to yourself. 


Keep all of this information in mind, if you're ever involved in the claims process!

Take Your Chill Pills.

Today, my husband and I attempted to complete our wedding registration simultaneously as we completed our baby registry at Target. It was a little overwhelming, to say the least. But, even with our energy fading- we stayed calmed and tried to keep our spirits up. As for the shoppers surrounding us? Not so much. Two middle aged white ladies began to brawl over a line-jipping accusation; a twenty-something slammed her hands down on the hood of a car that was not giving her the pedestrian right-of-way as she left the store; and I saw a frazzled mom lift her toddler to eye level by the arm in a fit of frustration. I felt the overwhelming urge to yell "EVERYBODY RELAX!". When did we get to this point? When did something as simple as coexisting in a marketplace environment become so unnerving for people that they aren't able to keep it together? We aren't hunters and gathers, having to tap in to our instincts to survive at a heightened level of danger anymore. But, watching the emotional reaction of some of the people surrounding me... you wouldn't know it. I won't be able to change the world, but I can change myself... Today, I took a deep breathe and remembered to smile at strangers. I showed compassion and common courtesy and I remembered to laugh when things didn't go my way. Hopefully, the positivity will be contagious. Appreciate Each Day & remember to relax!

Gratitude

Showing gratitude everyday is the foundation to a lifetime of happiness.

Feeling gratitude is not enough. Take action and mobilize your appreciation for your many blessings.