Alcoholism: A perspective from a Chemical Dependency Counselor, and long-time drinker.

Drugs are great! Until they aren't anymore. Then, they are horrific and you must discontinue using them immediately. 

That statement crossed my lips at least once a week, while I tried to calm the nerves of a client during an initial evaluation in my office.  The initial evaluation is administered when someone is trying to determine if clinically they are a drug addict or alcoholic. The results of that evaluation are usually 'yes, addiction is present', mostly because not many people came through my door unless they were aware, on some level, of an addiction. 

The qualm most people had with this diagnosis is acknowledging addiction is accepting that you are not in control of your disease; i.e. there is no amount of fanagling you can do to safely continue using. Most people that are seeking help for addiction still want to believe they have just "gotten a little out of control" but once they get treatment and are back in control, they can use again-safely. Unfortunately, that's not how addiction works.  Once addicted, never safe. And you can't substitute one substance for another, insert this conversation: 

That being said, I am going to focus on alcoholism specifically in this article.

So let's address some of the common questions that cross my desk:

1. So why is alcohol even legal if its so addictive and dangerous?

 Because: Drugs are great! (and yes alcohol is a drug). Until they aren't.  Yes, some people become addicted, drinking leads to many health issues and contributes to crime, and accidents. BUT, it is also a multi-billion industry that is entrenched in our culture and for some people...is just fun. Alcohol, in and of itself, is not addictive- for everyone. In fact, one of the initial warning signs of  alcoholism is a person who feels a strong urge to binge drink and continue drinking following that first drink. The reason is, simply, because alcoholism is based on a genetic predisposition. Hence, why it is viewed as a disease. There is a chemical difference between people who become alcoholics and people who do not. People who are predisposed to alcoholism will react to alcohol differently and indulge in it frequently enough to develop a physical addiction. People who do not have that predisposition are very unlikely to drink enough to ever become physically addicted. Picture smoking a cigarette- the first time you take a puff, you cough, the chemicals are in your system, but you're not hooked- it is not until you have had a few cigarettes that a physical addiction occurs and you feel the withdraw symptoms that make you crave another. Having a drink is the same. Alcoholism occurs in stages and the physical addiction is not present in the early stage. It is not until a larger quantity of alcohol is introduced to your system, over a prolonged period of time that you will actually have physical withdrawal symptoms. Craving the euphoric rush? For an alcoholic, that can happen after the first drink. 

For more information regarding the chemical predisposition for alcoholism: a great read is "Beyond the Influence, Understanding and defeating Alcoholism" By: Katherine Ketcham

2. I  have some issues with alcohol, but I am a high functioning person! I'm not an alcoholic because I don't need to hide bottles around my house and drink all day. So how can I be an alcoholic?

Unfortunately, I hear that a lot. Despite research that proves that alcoholism is a genetic predisposition (aka you are born with it) many people still carry the shield of the stereotypical  late stage alcoholic as their justification that they "aren't that bad" and therefore, can compare out and dismiss their own issues. In early stage alcoholism, a person is usually still enjoying the party. He may have a high tolerance, be able to re cooperate quickly from drinking, maybe drinking has led to an underage or even DUI, but that might be the only consequence he has experienced at this point. It is very hard to see the problem that drinking may become because, for an alcoholic, the buzz is an amazing feeling and it is almost impossible to imagine this thing in your life that makes you feel so good, will be the same thing that destroys you. The goal of current clinicians in the chemical dependency field is to identify the disease before a person becomes a late stage alcoholic. 

3. ...Am I an alcoholic?

Well, let's start by providing a copy and paste of the definition of clinical alcohol abuse and dependence from the DSM-IV (the diagnosis guide used by clinicians):

Appendix B: DSM-IV-TR Diagnostic Criteria for Alcohol Abuse and Dependence

Go to:

ALCOHOL ABUSE

(A) A maladaptive pattern of drinking, leading to clinically significant impairment or distress, as manifested by at least one of the following occurring within a 12-month period:

• Recurrent use of alcohol resulting in a failure to fulfill major role obligations at work, school, or home (e.g., repeated absences or poor work performance related to alcohol use; alcohol-related absences, suspensions, or expulsions from school; neglect of children or household)
• Recurrent alcohol use in situations in which it is physically hazardous (e.g., driving an automobile or operating a machine when impaired by alcohol use)
• Recurrent alcohol-related legal problems (e.g., arrests for alcohol-related disorderly conduct)
• Continued alcohol use despite having persistent or recurrent social or interpersonal problems caused or exacerbated by the effects of alcohol (e.g., arguments with spouse about consequences of intoxication).

(B) Never met criteria for alcohol dependence.

Go to:

ALCOHOL DEPENDENCE

(A) A maladaptive pattern of drinking, leading to clinically significant impairment or distress, as manifested by three or more of the following occurring at any time in the same 12-month period:

• Need for markedly increased amounts of alcohol to achieve intoxication or desired effect; or markedly diminished effect with continued use of the same amount of alcohol
• The characteristic withdrawal syndrome for alcohol; or drinking (or using a closely related substance) to relieve or avoid withdrawal symptoms
• Drinking in larger amounts or over a longer period than intended.
• Persistent desire or one or more unsuccessful efforts to cut down or control drinking
• Important social, occupational, or recreational activities given up or reduced because of drinking
• A great deal of time spent in activities necessary to obtain, to use, or to recover from the effects of drinking
• Continued drinking despite knowledge of having a persistent or recurrent physical or psychological problem that is likely to be caused or exacerbated by drinking.

(B) No duration criterion separately specified, but several dependence criteria must occur repeatedly as specified by duration qualifiers associated with criteria (e.g., “persistent,” “continued”).

Source: Adapted from American Psychiatric Association (APA). Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 4th Edition, Text Revision. Washington, DC: APA, 2000.

Now, that definition decoded: Ask yourself these 10 questions:

1. Are you unable to stop drinking after having 2-3 drinks?

2. Does your family have a history of alcoholism?

3. Has your health been effected by your drinking? Has your physician advised you cut back?

4. Have you encountered any legal issues due to drinking or drug use?

5. Do you find it hard to control your mood, frequently feeling irritable or frustrated?

6. Have your family members or friends questioned you regarding your drinking habits?

7. Have you ever been involved in a car accident due to drinking?

8. Have you blacked out from drinking or drug use?

9. Have you ever become hostile, belligerent, or been involved in a physical fight while intoxicated?

10. Are you preoccupied with drinking (i.e. is drinking present at all or almost all of your social activities, do you find yourself thinking about happy hour, or the next time you will be able to have a drink when not drinking)?

If you answered yes to more than 3 of these questions OR if you feel that you may have a problem controlling your drinking or drug use, contact a local provider to get an evaluation. 

Remember, addiction is a disease- it's not something to be ashamed of or stigmatized by. If a person has  diabetes and eats poorly, doesn't monitor his blood sugar, and ignores his symptoms; yes, he  is responsible for the decision he made to further the deterioration of his health BUT he is not a bad person for being a diabetic. It is not his fault that he has a medical issue; it is just his responsibility to take action to better his lifestyle and health. Alcoholism is the same. 

Becoming effecient

How to make it all happen?

We are all extremely busy trying to stay on top things in our regular lives, when you add in big life events- it's easy to feel overwhelmed. The answer to finding balance in your day to day is to treat your life as your business and your body like a machine.

Life as a business: 

If you don't show up for work? You get fired. If you don't complete your duties? You get fired. What is the benefit of the consequence? It creates accountability. Your mind set should be:  Be your own boss. Take your life seriously, your worth it. But, how do you know what to do at work and when to show up? You have a schedule, you've outlined your duties, you've asked others to train you, you did research, and you know your budget. Those concepts need to follow you home.

Your body the machine: 

What happens when you neglect a car engine? It breaks down. An engine needs the right care just like your body. You need to consider what would happen if you poured poor quality oil into your engine, the same effect is true when you consume terrible food. When you overwork a machine it overheats and when you leave it idle it rusts. Sleep, exercise, and eating what your body needs- it will keep your body in tip top shape.



1. Create a schedule.

2.  Become Accountable for your actions.

3. Prioritize your to-do list based on a time line.

4. Schedule in extra time for things to go wrong and unexpected needs.

5.  Do it right the first time. Don't cut corners, don't procrastinate, and don't stop until the job is done.

6.  Delegate and ask for help! It takes a village.

7. Have confidence in yourself. Don't second guess your decisions. Remember if you make a mistake, that's ok. It's ok to laugh and learn. Hesitation won't make your decision better or worse, information will. If you really don't feel comfortable making a choice; do more research and refer back to tip #6. 

8. Prioritize sleep. 

9. Eat lots of fiber and leafy greens. 

10. Make a note of how often youre laughing and make sure it happens daily. 

Hello Blog! How you've been neglected... I failed at my daily writing goal miserably last month. Trying to balance working full time, wedding planning, pregnancy, and house hunting consumed way more time than I had. Finally, I have gotten through the busiest time and notified my employer that I would be stepping down to become a full-time mommy for a while. Luckily for me, we are going to make that happen  even earlier than necessary so I can focus on all of our life events! 

My mission statement:

I am going to become as savvy as possible on DIY homeownership. 

Cooking, healthy on a budget. 

Tips for saving money. 

Motherhood in general. 

Finding Balance with my relationship, health, spirituality, and daily living. 

& for the month of March- the focus will be on bringing this wedding to fruition! 

The blog posts will be a little all over the place because, that's how our life is these days! 

A woman's right: telling your employer you're expecting

When I found out that I was expecting my baby, it was a big surprise. We were already planning our wedding. The snuggly fitted to the hip,  size 6, dress was purchased and everything. And I was only a few weeks into a brand new job. This was not just any job either. It was the first time I was able to land the exact position for which I had gone to college.

Talk about mixed emotions. I wanted to be a mom... someday. I just didn't know someday would turn out to be this upcoming June.

I walked into work with a new anchor around my neck. I wondered how to excitedly commit to my new training (which would take several months) knowing my time with the company was on a ticking countdown. The big decision always weighing in my mind: when do I tell them.

First,  I asked for advice. I asked my doctor, my family, my husband,  my friends... and everyone had different answers.
"Don't tell them until you're out of the first trimester, what if you miscarry?"

"Don't tell them at all, it's none of their business. If they treat you differently sue!"

"Tell them right away! If you don't your misleading them and that's not ethical. "

My mind was spinning.

My doctor had advised waiting until the end of the first trimester, so I decided to start there. That gave me over a month at the job, maybe it would be easier then.

Well, next week is the second trimester and the decision isn't easier. I'm also not showing yet, making the temptation to keep the secret even stronger. But, I'm not a secret kind of girl. I wear it all in my sleeve. And I'm ready to spill the beans.

I weighed the consequences. I'm not FMLA protected because of the small size of the company & my limited time there. Potentially I could be fired in the spot for not being able to perform the duties of the job. But, I got through first trimester's exhaustion & daily nausea without asking for any accommodations- would that count for something?  I couldn't know for sure.

Then the real root of why I was so unsettled about this decision started to become clear to me. Why did I feel like a criminal? Why did I feel like I had let these people down?  I'm a grown woman, with a wonderfully loving and supportive husband,  experiencing being pregnant with our first child. This moment in time should be celebrated, not admonished. So why in a corporate setting is there so much pressure to deny your personal needs? The answer is within the structure of our working system. Employers want competitive employees. They want people that put the job first. But when you prioritize the job what goes on the back burner?  Your family? Your health?

I'm a counselor. Everyday I tell people to advocate for themselves. I urge people to identify their needs and prioritize their well being. And I'm not going to be a hypocrite anymore.

Today, I'm going to tell my boss that I'm expecting. I'll advise that I am willing to work up to the month of my due date, and I would like to return to the position if possible after I've adjusted to our baby's arrival. Most importantly, I'm delivering this news with pride. I'm a woman, I've received an education, I work very hard, and I'm starting a family- I shouldn't be ashamed of that.

Good-to-know Auto Insurance Insights

About two years ago, I started working at a major insurance company. I was working for the auto claims as a liability adjuster. Prior to getting this job, I had no experience with insurance and honestly, I had no idea how even my own auto insurance really worked. After hearing the same questions come up over and over from our customers, I complied a list of good-to-know facts about most people's auto coverage...

1. "Full Coverage" does not equal "Free Coverage" even if you are not liable for an accident. Coverage on your auto insurance carries some kind of deductible. The lowest possible deductible usually being $100.00; there is the exception of comprehensive coverage/ glass coverage sometimes having no deductible, but your collision coverage always has a deductible. If you've been in a car accident and have not paid anything out of pocket, it's because you went directly through the other person's insurance coverage or because your insurance company was able to "waive your deductible" because the other person's insurance company accepted liability for the accident and paid your company directly for the expenses of your vehicle.

What this means for you: Choose a deductible you can afford. If your car is parked and involved in a hit and run; you will be responsible for paying your deductible since you don't have the other person's information.

2. Rental Coverage is worth it. Usually adding rental coverage to your policy is only a few additional dollars a month, and although it may seem to be penny smart to skimp on this addition when creating your policy, its dollar dumb in the long run. Going back to the hit and run scenario; if you do not have rental coverage and your vehicle is totaled by someone who flees the scene; you may be weeks without a vehicle if you can not afford to rent a car out of pocket. If you have the coverage, your insurance company can place you immediately into a rental vehicle and its covered by the policy.

3. Be your own advocate. Unfortunately, claims handlers and call centers are overwhelmed with a very high volume of claims to handle; meaning, your claim may not get the attention you hoped that it would receive. If there seems to be a lag in contact from your adjuster reach out to them. Do yourself a favor and do not make their jobs more difficult- have your information ready, have the other parties information ready, and get your own copy of the police report if at all possible. Being entitled that you do not have to contribute to the process, or getting belligerent with your claims handler will not benefit you. If anything that behavior will slow down your claims process. Stay calm, get organized, and be cooperative- your insurance representative wants to help you and wants to help resolve your claim as quickly as possible.

4. Understand the difference between Collision and Comprehensive Coverage. If anything collides with your vehicle (i.e. another vehicle, a shopping cart, an object laying on the road) it is considered a collision loss. The only exception is an animal, an object that is flying through the air, or  direct weather-caused damage- all of which fall under comprehensive. Vandalism also falls under your comprehensive coverage.

5. Your Agent does not handle claims. Your agent is apart of the sales team for your insurance company. The agent can help you file a claim, they are savvy on the discounts available to you and the underwriting process; however, most agents are not trained in the claims process and liability statutes.

What the means for you: If your agent advises that an accident is not your fault, or that your accident would fall under comprehensive vs collision coverage- they may be wrong. You will not be able to confirm the liability determination or appropriate coverage until you actually speak to a claims handler.

6. Not all claims service is 24 hours. Most call centers to report the claim are 24 hour service. That call center can assist with towing your vehicle and filing the claim. However; specific questions regarding liability, rental cars, and reimbursement for out of pocket expenses (when not liable) must come from your claims handler. If you want prompt service; find out the office hours of your claims handler and contact them within those hours. Not all adjusters work weekends or evenings.

What to do if you're involved in a car accident: 
1. Exchange all information. This includes the driver's name, the owner of car's name, the license plate of the vehicle, and the contact information for anyone involved in the accident, the other person's insurance company and their policy number.

2. Take pictures. Take pictures of both cars, all damage, the other people involved (incase they try to claim they were not at the scene of the accident later), the location and any roadway markings or signs, and the position of the cars.

3. Note the details. What time did accident happen? What are closest streets to the location? How many impacts did you feel?

4. File a police report, if possible. Do not depend on the police to get the other person's information. If the other person is not cooperating at the very least take a photo of their license plate.

5. Get the name and contact information of any witnesses- no matter how simple the accident.


Liability Decisions that seem to surprise:

You rear ended the person in front of you, because they slammed on their breaks for no reason (you think they were on a cell phone.) 

Sorry, you are still liable. You have the duty to leave enough space in front of you when following another vehicle that you are able to stop in time. 

You made a left hand turn at an intersection, when the other car sped through the intersection and hit the rear of your vehicle. 

You may not be 100% liable, meaning they may have some negligence for speeding, but you are still majority at fault as the person who failed to yield and made a left hand turn in front of another vehicle. 

After you parallel parked your car, you opened your door to get out and a car driving by took off your door!

Sorry, You are liable. You have a duty to make sure the roadway is clear before opening your car door into a roadway.  

Your spouse hit your parked car. Now both cars are damaged, but at least its only one deductible right?

Wrong.  Even though you won't be liable for the accident, you will have to use your own car's collision coverage to get it repaired. You can't be liable for your spouses' property because it is shared and you can not be liable to yourself. 


Keep all of this information in mind, if you're ever involved in the claims process!

Take Your Chill Pills.

Today, my husband and I attempted to complete our wedding registration simultaneously as we completed our baby registry at Target. It was a little overwhelming, to say the least. But, even with our energy fading- we stayed calmed and tried to keep our spirits up. As for the shoppers surrounding us? Not so much. Two middle aged white ladies began to brawl over a line-jipping accusation; a twenty-something slammed her hands down on the hood of a car that was not giving her the pedestrian right-of-way as she left the store; and I saw a frazzled mom lift her toddler to eye level by the arm in a fit of frustration. I felt the overwhelming urge to yell "EVERYBODY RELAX!". When did we get to this point? When did something as simple as coexisting in a marketplace environment become so unnerving for people that they aren't able to keep it together? We aren't hunters and gathers, having to tap in to our instincts to survive at a heightened level of danger anymore. But, watching the emotional reaction of some of the people surrounding me... you wouldn't know it. I won't be able to change the world, but I can change myself... Today, I took a deep breathe and remembered to smile at strangers. I showed compassion and common courtesy and I remembered to laugh when things didn't go my way. Hopefully, the positivity will be contagious. Appreciate Each Day & remember to relax!

Gratitude

Showing gratitude everyday is the foundation to a lifetime of happiness.

Feeling gratitude is not enough. Take action and mobilize your appreciation for your many blessings.